Here are some acupuncture points you can apply pressure to in order to help begin releasing all of the above.
GB21~ At the highest peak on the line between your shoulder joint and the base of your neck.This point is all about releasing the entire trapezius muscle which helps descend your shoulders, melting away stress and tension.
GB-20~ This point sits on either side of the base of your skull (see above).This point is meant mostly for neck problems, however I have found that releasing my clients necks is very helpful in releasing tension held in the shoulders and for solving tension headaches. It's a small area and there are actually a bunch of great points here so massage the base of your skull and anywhere that feel tight or achey- that is where you place most of the pressure to release the SCM muscle (which turns the head and neck) and the top of the trapezius muscle.
LU7~ Two inches up from your wrist crease on the inner edge of your arm (thumb side).This point is actually meant for neck problems, but I have found in my clinic that by releasing the neck the shoulders tend to relax also.
SI-11~ in the center of the shoulder blade on your back.This point is a challenge to access by yourself so take a tennis ball and place it on the floor- lie your upper back down on top of it and move around until the ball is in the center of your shoulder blade then simply relax into it.
There a bunch of more detailed acupuncture points to help the shoulders, the neck and tension base headaches so if you struggle on a regular basis go see your local acupuncturist regularly to nip it in the bud.